B. Al-Shimmari your son waits for you

Dear Blogger,
I worked in a the Marine Hotel in Kuwait, I met my son, Arthur’s father in Kuwait, we where in a relationship for about a year, he was very good to me at the time, but because I was nieve I didn’t realize that he was actually a married man, which he had lied to me! In Kuwait it is very easy to conceal your real life and identity, he took me on two trips to Egypt and to London for holiday, when I flew home in 2007 from London I didn’t realize that would be the last time I see him.
He left me at 5 months pregnant with nothing, because he is a Arab from Kuwait, I could not take the chance to go back to Kuwait and put myself and my baby at risk, I am christian and never wish to be another religion, so I decided I had no choice at the time, I had to go stay with my parents….This is my story in short, in the last few years I have had e-mail contact with Arthur’s father and he said he would send me a measly 200 dollars a month, which does not even cover his school fees, I have being to the Kuwaiti Embassy in South Africa, the Ambassador said he could not help me! I have being to see a South African lawyer and they want a retainer fee of 20 000 South African Rands from me, which is allot of money!

At present life is very expensive in South Africa, my son is turning 6 years old on the 7th November, I am at my witts end trying to make ends meet every month, I would like him to pay me the child support that he owes me for the last 6 years!.

He says he will have DNA test done, but he refuses to come to South Africa to have them done, I cannot come to Kuwait and put myself or my child at risk! He does not wish to help me! I received an e-mail from him which I will send you, I am willing to sell my story to a newspaper in England and I would like to know from you if can publish my story in a newspaper in Kuwait, he cannot get away with what he has done to me! All I know is that he worked in the Kuwaiti Embassy as Head of Security and that he traveled allot for his job. He has now taken early retirement because he had a stroke in the beginning of the year, he is 53 years of age if I’m not mistaken, he comes from a family of 18 children I know his first wife’s name is Jasmin, he had 3 children with her the eldest a girl and 2 boys, his wife’s father is a very powerful man in Kuwait one of the richest he told me! His brother Mohammed, which accompanied us to Egypt is one of a twin brother from his family.

Please see e-mails to follow with photos of my son and I and of his father, Bader Mansour Mohammed Al Shammeri:

bader I am so upset, I found out you have retired, why did you lie to me! bader you sent me money last in january! you know how I struggled to live since then you know I have no job now and I dont have a car to find work, because I had my accident because I was tired comming home from work at 1 in the morning! providing for arthur! Bader you owe arthur at 1000 dollars for the last few months that you didnt send me money! bader I know you can afford it! and if you dont send the money! I will do more than just go to the embassy! I will find away to get a lawyer and sue you for child support! arthur is your son and you have to help us!
His reply:
Hi amy
I just landed in kwt today.I think u select the right way which u take me to court and i agree. 100% with u so please do ur best to proove that arther is my son and if the dna say that he is my son i will be responseible for him and make him live with me and change his relegen to be moslem.And i dont want to hear from u from today and my lawyer is waiting to hear from ur lawyer.

This is a very complicated situation for both mother and child. I hope this site can help spread the word, no man should ever leave his child behind.

21 comments on “B. Al-Shimmari your son waits for you

  1. mikolaj says:

    Hello! My story is similar, it’s hard to do something at a distance in Kuwait? newspapers do not publish this blog!! I wrote to all the newspapers and even no one answered me! I am looking for my father for over 10 years and it’s hard to find him? wejdz of my stories there is an email to me.

  2. baderb says:

    if you are sure that arthur is his son then you have nothing to fear in coming to kuwait especially, now since your son is a minor you will easily gain custody of your child.

  3. Left says:

    Don’t waste money on a lawyer in SA. The lawyer can’t help you. If you don’t have a marriage certificate there isn’t anything you can do. There is no Law to force anyone into a DNA test. IF you want money from this guy the best thing you can do is be nice to him. When you threaten and challenge they will be bad with you. If you are nice and say how great Bader is and oh I know you are a nice guy and I know you will do what is right. Please blah blah blaaaaah feed his ego and maybe you might get something from him. No lawyer anywhere can force him to do anything because this is beyond the law.

  4. Cousin of the scumbag who left his child says:

    This story very sad. How I report kuwati man who do this? His Name SALEM RASHED AL RASHED. He lives in PENTHOUSE APARTMENT IN DORRA BAY, MARINA DUBAI with a new woman he now have. he has baby with girl from belerus and now is in happy marriage with woman and never see his daughter he having from belerus. The mother is Tania. If you read this you can message me I will give you all his family number, address, email, office details so your baby girl can get her rights. peace

  5. Nusrat says:

    Pray to Allah dear.only prayer helps.If u r a christian no matter try to read tahajud prayers. Have faith in Allah .Things will work out . INshallah

  6. 3azeez says:

    Whose fault is this? I keep reading about such posts… and as a man I can understand why those fathers are avoiding the women. First, the lady is an adult and she should have known the consequences of having unprotected sex. Second, if she decided to have unprotected sex, conceive a baby and keep it without the knowledge or agreement of her partner then that is her fault. She took the full responsibility then she should continue this responsibility in bringing up the child. We are at a time of empowered women enjoying equality and freedom. Today, women and men enjoy the same opportunities, outcomes, rights and obligations in all spheres of life. Both sexes are able to share equally in the distribution of power and influence; have equal opportunities for financial independence through work or through setting up businesses; enjoy equal access to education and the opportunity to develop personal ambitions. So please don’t talk to me about child left behind BS unless it is true that a father walked away from a child. But if the mother decides to have unprotected sex and get pregnant without the partner consent, then I believe this is her fault.

    With all that being said… unfortunately, the tone in this blog is not about kids wanting to reunite with their fathers but rather want to reunite with their fathers wallets! This tone is the exact reason why I cannot feel any compassion with most of the posts.

    Sorry about my hard tone, and hope you can accept this comment which may be constructive for other people trying to find their fathers or the fathers of their children.


    • helpgcckids says:

      Everyone has their own opinion and considering you’re a man this is exactly the kind of response expected of you. It is also the responsibility of the man to use protection as to avoid these situations.

      • 3azeez says:

        You are stereotyping gender roles and assuming one sex is intrinsically superior to a person of the other. This is sexism… you are being sexist!

    • karimah says:

      wow all this talk about equality and sexism. Yet you still blame the woman? Unprotected sex and pregnancy has consequences and as a male put a condom on. take responsibility for your actions. Secondly, take into consideration that birth control contraceptives can fail if the woman is taking antibiotics gets a cold and condoms can break. So don’t be so quick to judge and act as if you as a male have no responsibility in the making of a child. If you don’t want a kid put a CONDOM one sex ed 101.

      Children have no say in who their parents are and money is like dirt it has nothing to do with money, this about them wanting to have a relationship with their father. Read and learn about how important parent relationships are and how important a father has in the life of their child. The point is this take responsibility and love your children regardless who mother is. If you love Allah or whatever deity you worship than you know what do. Fear your god before people culture, tradition and family.

  7. Cindy says:

    I agree to be honest. Close your legs to married men! Stop being gold digging whores maybe then you’d have a better relationship with your children’s father or your children would know who their father is. Simple.

    • Eddy says:

      I think , close your legs to any man before getting married , open your legs and have sex with your man only after getting married . Pregnancy will happen with married or non married guys . Just do not sin , and get legally married , my then you will proof you child’s fatherhood .

  8. baboo says:

    I stumbled upon this blog looking to adopt a cat here in kuwait lol, As a british convert to Islam I married a kuwaiti man/ young man/ student šŸ˜› we married very young alhumdullilah. I live in kuwait now ofc and I see this alot! As a woman first thing i have to say is you were dumb and fooled, I bet he made you feel like a princess ! But what you didnt know is that if he really saw you like that he would have married you straight up honestly and transparently and he would have stood up for your marriage agaist the many steriotypes that western women get in kuwait ( thanks to women who do what you have done ). It never ceases to amaze me when people go to a country and break their laws … you do know sex out of wedlock is ilegal here right …. an then QQ about the consequences … its like drug traffickers who get arested in countries and sentenced to life in jail then they try and throw up a big international fuss lol. And one thing you should be aware of about these types of men , they lie as they breath , he is probably mr nothing but the fact that kuwaitis just have /look like they have alot of money makes stupid women believe anything.

    I am not saying its all your fault he is scum for sure and should pay for what he has done but damn you were so stupid too. You are lucky that he is willing to Even contact you most of these types of men would totaly ignore you and avoid you like the plague because you represent their dirty little secret.

    On coming to kuwait for what ? what do you expect ? money ? you had a kid out of marriage you are not entitled to anything this isnt the west, a prison sentence for the both of you is what you should get here. It may sound harsh but there are poor children who dont have the chance at a decent family because of this sort of story.

    I guess the harm is done now I dont see what you can get out of this the fact remains that you had this child Ilegaly ! And therefore in kuwait you are not a victim at all but a criminal for doing this and i think its this that western women dont understand. Maybe its time to move on If he is a typical kuwaiti man he wont wanna take responsability for his mistake he will just want to pretend it never happend.

    I can understand the grown up children here looking for their fathers. But The mothers wanting to find the fathers .. for what ? financial support ? you may just end up losing custody. Bottem line is you made have slipped up and made a mistake according to your culture but here you commited a crime dont forget that.

    • imbackagain says:


      I am reading this blog after many months of its post, what is the progress on this matter, just to know if she had any sort of success so that such cases can be referenced for similar cases.


  9. amy says:

    Hi, Amy here, Arthur will be 8 years old in November this year 2015, Bader has made no attempt to make contact with me, I have not got the means to fly to Kuwait, I leave the decision with him as he is missing out on the most intelegant little boy ever, who has so much love to offer.



    • Itsamansworld says:

      Do not come to Kuwait. It is a blessing you have not come here. There is a good chance you may lose your son if you come here.

  10. Itsamansworld says:

    Dear Amy…… I am so sorry for your situation. But the sad truth is, it wouldn’t be very different if you lived in Kuwait and had been married to this man and got custody. I am divorced from a man who has a very good income and I was only awarded 60 kds for each of my two children. It’s a man’s world here. End of story.

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