Saudi Arabia brings back their citizens

RIYADH: The Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad — Awasser — has been exerting great effort to bring back to the Kingdom Saudi nationals and families that resulted from marriages abroad contracted by means that run contrary to the Kingdom’s regulations.

Awasser Chairman Tawfiq Abdul Aziz Al-Suwailem said during an interview with a local publication that his society “is trying to put a smile on the faces of many Saudi families abroad” by working to reunite them with their relatives in the Kingdom.
“Our work involves direct collaboration with the Ministry of Labor and Social Development, the Ministry of Interior and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, through the Saudi embassies, in addition to civil society organizations and charities,” said Al-Suwailem, while explaining the mechanism for reaching out to the families abroad.
He also said that 2,283 such families have been found so far in 31 countries around the world by the society and relevant official agencies. Together with their family members, this adds up to 8,012 individuals.
“Some of these families receive financial assistance, others administrative help. About 24 new families were added to the list (receiving assistance) during the last three months, while 47 families were removed from the list either because their situations got better or they have already returned to the Kingdom” said Al-Suwailem.
So far, 27 families — or 67 individuals — returned.
“The return procedure involves receiving the families at the airport, securing temporary residences for them, renting apartments and furnishing them, providing for their living expenses and giving them a national identity card, if they do not have them,” said Al-Suwailem, adding that Awasser constantly extends advice and counseling to the Saudi citizens traveling abroad, including warning them about being lured by marriage brokers and advising them to seek the help of the Saudi embassy officials before taking any step.
Al-Suwailem said there are immoral people who seek to take advantage of Saudis who travel abroad, receiving them at airports and convincing them to do things with, often with dire consequences, most often using young women to trap their victims.
The Ministry of Labor and Social Development grants annual support to Awasser to carry out its work, said the chairman. Private sector institutions also provide aid.
In the course of its operations, the society comes at times across unusual cases, said Al-Suwailem.
“We witnessed a humanitarian issue that greatly affected us while we visited two families in one of the countries. A young man and a young woman had the same father and shared the same family name; having different mothers,and they had never met.
“In another case, a young man came to the society with his mother to invite us to his wedding and said he never knew his father. There are also situations where the father died without telling his family about his second marriage. Lawsuits are filed by the sons of the foreign mother, who claim their inheritance rights.”
Awasser, the first and only Saudi charitable organization authorized for these services, also grants financial support, winter allowance and school assistance to children living abroad, and includes them in King Abdullah scholarship program.

==It seems as if Saudi Arabia is the only GCC country recognizing the families left behind from foreign marriages but I don’t think they include illegitimate children.

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Kuwait published our cause

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——-Kuwait has recognized our struggle!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUWAIT: In view of the growing number of single mothers in the US, a number of American women with children recently decided to sue Arab students who they claim are the real fathers of their kids and the result of extramarital relationships.

The women seized the opportunity of the creation of a new website named ‘Children Left Behind’ to upload dozens of stories about American single mothers reporting that their kids were the result of affairs with Saudi, Kuwaiti, Qatari and Emirati students, saying that the fathers abandoned them and disappeared. Creators of the website, which has English and Arabic interfaces, stressed that it mainly aims at highlighting those mothers’ ordeals and help them reunite with their kids’ legitimate fathers.

One of the website’s administrators said that the number of American single mothers contacting the website to share their experiences was steadily growing. The website, which has so far been visited by over 1.5 million people, said that the phenomena started back in the 1980s, dropped a little in the 1990s, then gradually increased later on after so many GCC university students abandoned their companions. — Al-Rai

An angel left behind

Hello everyone honestly I don’t know where to start my letter,but I feel that it’s time for me to share my stories about my daughter.. I don’t even know if it’s right to post the things that I need to say to my daughter’s father.. But it’s almost 5 years that I kept it for myself and now its time to speak.. First I want to say thank you that I found this site for the Kuwaiti children left behind.. Through you the people like us Who doesn’t have a voice to speak can have the chance now to express our feelings.. And for that I’m grateful.. I met the father of my child in Kuwait last 2009, I was working there since 2006 in Beirut complex in hawally as a sales lady in a perfume shop.. I don’t want to elaborate everything that happened before my only concern is my daughter.. To Khaled yousef Ahmed Alotaibi I just wish with you a very pleasant Day.. If it happens that one day you will see this message I just really Hope that you don’t forget what you have for me and that is our daughter.. I didn’t mean to cause any problems with you, I don’t know if you are married or not but the only concern that I have is the right and your responsibility as a “FATHER” your daughter now this coming Aug 24 will be turning 5..and until now she doesn’t have a birth certificate.. I tried my best to communicate with Philippine Embassy in Kuwait just to have a copy of her original birth certificate since she was born in Alsabah hospital in Kuwait last August 24,2010 you know what I’ve been through in your country because of what you did.. But this is not the time for me to keep on blaming each other.. I want her identity as a person..the last time I talked to you, you told me your gonna support her and even you kept a promise that your gonna celebrate her birthday in one of the finest hotel or resto in Manila? It’s almost 3years now.. But where are you?? Hiding?? I don’t even know how you can sleep at night knowing that you have a daughter!! Your own flesh and blood.. And your first child.. I remember when we was together you told me about your dreams.. I guess because that time I was so young and vulnerable.. Believing on everything what you said.. You know Khaled, I never give our daughter the reasons to hate you.. I thank God that in this span of five years I manage to fed her, to provide her needs even without your help.. I don’t want to happen someday that she will ask me about you ?I don’t want to hear from her mouth that Mom,did you ever tried your best to fight for my right as a daughter. And to let my Baba knows that I am looking for a father ..that he knows he have a beautiful daughter.. I’m really in tears writing this letter you know why? Coz I really know how it felt to grow up without a Father.. I don’t want to deprive this moment to her.. If the only way is through this site then I will gladly do it for her.. If you have a heart for your daughter.. Please let her feel that she have one.. I already forgave everything about you.. I love my daughter so much.. It’s her birthday Khaled on this August 24..she knows about you.. She knows her father is in Kuwait.. I hope you can read this letter.. Life is short Khaled and your not getting any younger anymore.. She needs you let her know her roots. Let her know you love her despite of everything.. God bless you..

How the UAE deals with their lost children

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‘Illegitimate’ kids need support, not stigmatisation

The case of Mylene Rapada, the daughter of a Filipina mother who is searching for her Emirati father, brings attention to a stigmatised segment of society: illegitimate children. Those children are often looked down upon and treated as if guilty of some crime.

Emirati society often focuses on the parents’ sin and neglects the rights of these children, who are generally viewed in a negative way.

They are commonly perceived as uncultured, amoral and undeserving of the respect and kindness normally offered to other children. In many cases, they’re discriminated against and dealt with in a dehumanising way.

Mylene, now aged 22, claims that her mother Nora had been working as a maid for the family of her father in Madinat Zayed in the Western Region for less than a year when she became pregnant with his child.

She was told that her father wanted to marry her mother at that time but the employment agency involved advised her to leave the country, and even when he tried to find his baby daughter, he failed in his pursuit.

There are many cases of foreigners who are looking for their Emirati parents, according to legal experts. This is a reality for many children around the world who are in search for one or both of their parents in foreign countries.

Having children out of wedlock is against Muslim culture. Yet, there is no reason to believe that we can prevent such cases from happening. So the question is: how can we protect innocent children from suffering the consequences?

In Islam, children born outside of wedlock are considered to be “illegitimate” and, according to popular religious opinion, should be named after their mothers rather than their fathers.

The issue of nationality wasn’t discussed at the time of the Prophet and so it is understood today that it is up to the state to decide on this matter.

However, the Quran says that “no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another” [39:07]. In another verse, it is mentioned: “So he who has done an atom’s weight of good shall see it. And he who has done an atom’s weight of evil shall see it” [99:07-8].

These two verses emphasise a significant Islamic concept that all people are judged by their own actions rather than the actions committed by their fathers, mothers, ancestors, or nations.

Thus, it would be both unfair and unethical to mistreat them or form an opinion of them by something they have not committed.

In addition, their social and legal rights must be protected.

At the moment, there is no official law recognising as citizens those born outside of wedlock.

And yet, following the Qurannic principle above, there is at least a case to be made that, in some circumstances, citizenship could be granted. After all, why should an innocent child be punished for the sins of the parents?

In 2009, as The National reported, the government created an ad hoc committee to conduct a global search to identify children born overseas to Emirati fathers, bring them back home if they wished and ensure their welfare.

The situation for children born of wedlock is different, of course, but there is an important principle at stake: as a small society, Emiratis look after their own.

Many mothers decide to go back to their home countries and take the full responsibility of the child, as Mylene’s mother Nora has done.

More social stigma and blame are placed on mothers, while fathers easily get away with what they have done because they don’t have to deal with pregnancy as is the case for women.

Some mothers are even forced to make the hard decision of abandoning their newborns to avoid legal consequences of having a children outside wedlock, a major sin in sharia law but one that is much harder to prove against a man than a woman.

Many of these children could grow up questioning their identity and existence if they ever got to know the full story.

Those born to poor mothers face an even harsher reality without the presence of their fathers. This is why these children need emotional support from the community to move on with their already difficult lives.

More has to be done to help these children integrate into Emirati society if they come forward and present their cases to authorities. Perhaps a permanent system could be in place to look into cases, with strict confidentiality, to determine their validity by conducting the necessary medical tests and other investigations, and, if certain circumstances are met, determine and provide them what they are due.

Regardless of the religious and legal complexities of the issue, we need to look at the situation of these children with compassion and care and view them as equal human beings who deserve dignity, respect, equal opportunities and decent lives.

aalmazrouei@thenational.ae

On Twitter: @AyeshaAlmazroui

Bader Al-Shimmari your son waits for you

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Dear Blogger,
I worked in a the Marine Hotel in Kuwait, I met my son, Arthur’s father in Kuwait, we where in a relationship for about a year, he was very good to me at the time, but because I was nieve I didn’t realize that he was actually a married man, which he had lied to me! In Kuwait it is very easy to conceal your real life and identity, he took me on two trips to Egypt and to London for holiday, when I flew home in 2007 from London I didn’t realize that would be the last time I see him.
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He left me at 5 months pregnant with nothing, because he is a Arab from Kuwait, I could not take the chance to go back to Kuwait and put myself and my baby at risk, I am christian and never wish to be another religion, so I decided I had no choice at the time, I had to go stay with my parents….This is my story in short, in the last few years I have had e-mail contact with Arthur’s father and he said he would send me a measly 200 dollars a month, which does not even cover his school fees, I have being to the Kuwaiti Embassy in South Africa, the Ambassador said he could not help me! I have being to see a South African lawyer and they want a retainer fee of 20 000 South African Rands from me, which is allot of money!

At present life is very expensive in South Africa, my son is turning 6 years old on the 7th November, I am at my witts end trying to make ends meet every month, I would like him to pay me the child support that he owes me for the last 6 years!.

He says he will have DNA test done, but he refuses to come to South Africa to have them done, I cannot come to Kuwait and put myself or my child at risk! He does not wish to help me! I received an e-mail from him which I will send you, I am willing to sell my story to a newspaper in England and I would like to know from you if can publish my story in a newspaper in Kuwait, he cannot get away with what he has done to me! All I know is that he worked in the Kuwaiti Embassy as Head of Security and that he traveled allot for his job. He has now taken early retirement because he had a stroke in the beginning of the year, he is 53 years of age if I’m not mistaken, he comes from a family of 18 children I know his first wife’s name is Jasmin, he had 3 children with her the eldest a girl and 2 boys, his wife’s father is a very powerful man in Kuwait one of the richest he told me! His brother Mohammed, which accompanied us to Egypt is one of a twin brother from his family.
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Please see e-mails to follow with photos of my son and I and of his father, Bader Mansour Mohammed Al Shammeri:

bader I am so upset, I found out you have retired, why did you lie to me! bader you sent me money last in january! you know how I struggled to live since then you know I have no job now and I dont have a car to find work, because I had my accident because I was tired comming home from work at 1 in the morning! providing for arthur! Bader you owe arthur at 1000 dollars for the last few months that you didnt send me money! bader I know you can afford it! and if you dont send the money! I will do more than just go to the embassy! I will find away to get a lawyer and sue you for child support! arthur is your son and you have to help us!
His reply:
Hi amy
I just landed in kwt today.I think u select the right way which u take me to court and i agree. 100% with u so please do ur best to proove that arther is my son and if the dna say that he is my son i will be responseible for him and make him live with me and change his relegen to be moslem.And i dont want to hear from u from today and my lawyer is waiting to hear from ur lawyer.

This is a very complicated situation for both mother and child. I hope this site can help spread the word, no man should ever leave his child behind.

American woman looking for her birth Father

judy1979

Hi, your blog was recommended to me by another blog. I am hoping you will post about my story. I am an American girl who was adopted at birth. Long story short, my biological mother went to Kuwait in 1979. She came back to the US pregnant. She had a relationship with a Kuwaiti man while she was there. I have been trying to find info about her time there, and who the man was, with no luck. My birth mother is now deceased, so I cannot ask her myself about the truth. I did meet her about 13 years ago, but she lied to me about who the father was. I have recently learned that he was from Kuwait, and that’s where she got pregnant. She was his mistress, and he put her up in a place while she was there. He took care of her, and it was described that she “wanted for nothing” while she was there. I think she was living a lavish lifestyle with him.

But then she got pregnant, and he apparently brought her back to the US and left her here. Not sure if she heard from him again. She was apparently in love with him, and she was devastated that he didn’t come back for her. She gave me up for adoption, and I had no contact with her until I had an interest in locating her when I was around 19. I was in contact with her for a couple of years, and she was not truthful to me as to who my father is.

That is why I am now searching for info and trying to backtrack and trace her steps from 33 years ago. I know nothing about the man except that he was Kuwaiti, apparently wealthy and married.

Her picture is attached to this email. I am hoping that you can post it, along with my story. And someone might remember her, maybe my biological father himself. I just want answers about him and also about Judy’s time there. I don’t wish to disrupt anyone’s life, as I have a mother and father of my own who I very much love. But I can’t let this go – It’s something that adopted people have a curiosity about, and I have got to know where I came from. I just want him to know I exist, because I’m not sure that he does. I don’t want to disrupt his life, or cause embarrassment. But I do feel like I have a right to know who he was.

Her name was Judy Bordelon, and she was from Louisiana. She was in Kuwait in 1979 and she was 19 years old. My email address is mercuryruled80@gmail.com if anyone has any info.

Thank you!

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